“Will you marry me?”
The big question is asked and answered favourably, the champers has been popped and now you have a new sparkly ring sitting on your left hand. The next question on everyone’s lips and your Facebook feed is – when is the wedding?
I have once heard marriage explained by a minister as “the commitment that remains once the lust has faded.”
Very true words.
The problem with wedding ceremonies these days is it is easy to lose the essence of the marriage within the dress, shoes, dove releasing, sand ceremonies, cars, bridezillas, groomzillas, bitchy bridesmaids, drunk mothers of brides and disapproving mothers of grooms.
Many cultures have big weddings as a part of their traditions. Invitations are sent to cousins of cousins, the guy down the street that you met when you were two as well as every other Tom, Dick and Harry that has moved through your life.
Although the guest list exceeds the 600 plus, this does not mean that the soul of this sacred occasion has been lost. Take a look at the delightful show Big Fat Gypsy Weddings. As gaudy and bright and completely OTT the weddings might be, we are told on the show that the gypsy community has a relatively low divorce rate.
In their heritage, marriage is truly sacred.
Many studies have shown that couples who have a big wedding are happier in their marriage, however, what it truly comes down to is the choices that are made by the couple on how the relationship is going to develop and evolve once the I do’s are said.
I have always wondered about women who have been planning their wedding their entire lives. Are they committing themselves to another person till death do they part or just until the wedding DVD is scratched? These big excessive weddings can place a lot of pressure on the couple if a large debt is accumulated and the expectation of a married life as big as the wedding cannot be met.
Small intimate weddings can be lovely. They can be all about the marriage that commitment between two people without all the fan fair. But they can also be because families don’t agree with the marriage or because family members don’t get along. This can potentially lead to issues later in the marriage if the negativity towards the union is so great and the couple doubt their commitment to each other.
Whether you go in for a big or small wedding – a marriage is not about how much the catering costs, the dress designer, or the type of wine served at the reception. It is about finding someone to commit your life to and allow that relationship to develop in a positive way.