Meeting your future partner online is…like, so romantic, right?
Flicking through the sea of strangers faces and you actually find one that isn’t a massive D Bag. If you’ve tried online dating some of these thoughts may have run through your head too..
There is something about this one is it the sparkle in his eye or is that just the filter? Ooooh, those eyes…OMFG it is him, finally, after all of this time it is the future Mr Me. Now, the perfect line to open with…hmm… come on Freeda you’ve got this shit.
Sent! Done. Now, how long will it take for him to respond? Time to check my profile is up to date, whoa, what was I FKN thinking with the picture with that cat?! delete delete delete, hurry up fuck you DELETE!
Ding Ding – A MESSAGE – FUCK YEAH!
Well his grammar and spelling are correct. It’s a great start! We’ve mutually gotten to know each other and I’ve staked his Facebook page to make sure there isn’t anything out of place, I think its time we meet up for a date!
This can go three ways…
Date No. 1
BAM! I feel like I’ve been hit by a brick wall, that’s not him is it? He looks nothing like his pictures! I think I’ve been fucking cat fished, why the hell isn’t there a law against Photoshop by now! Don’t judge a book by its cover Freeda.. I was meant to have a date with Ryan Gosling but Mr Bean has shown up. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, try and connect with this guy, you never know right?
Aaand we don’t click. Weirdo alert. I cant believe i’m leaving from another date wondering when ill find the one for me. Did I pass him when i was swiping my phone carelessly one day? or maybe I haven’t swiped enough yet. Yeah, online dating is so romantic huh?
Real life online dating horror stories:
“I met a girl who described herself as a 24-year old woman who’s blonde. I arrived on the date, all happy, but realised that the girl who sat was a 40-year old lady with two children and was just finding an excuse to leave her house” (Via People).
“As soon as I arrived at the meeting place, the guy sent me a text. Apparently, he had been standing across the street so that he could check me out from afar. Well, he didn’t like what he saw, and sent me the equivalent of “you are one ugly chick! Just go home’” (Via The Awl).
“He wore a pink polo shirt (collar popped) and worked in finance. He talked with prime rib in his mouth and told me he could use some “BJ action”. That was that” (Via The Awl).