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Friends of your kids that you're not a fan of

Just curious how many have ever pushed their kids away from children they felt were being a bad influence on their child? I'm of two minds, I really don't want to get involved but I feel this urge to discourage a particular friendship of my childs. The other child is quite manipulative and hyper and , though my child is quite naiive to it so far, it's bugging me enough to ask others' experiences? I'm talking 7year olds by the way. but could be any age!

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Answers (12)

My sons "friend" threw his Christmas card in the bin after my son gave it to him.
I asked my son would he ever do that to someone or treat someone that way and my son said no. And I said well maybe you need to really think about what friendship means and if you want this other child as a friend.
Then I flat out said that the kid is not welcome here.
They are 7 it's easier to discourage now than later

 Thats a bit harsh, maybe he didn't know what to do with it 😂. We can't have adult expectations for 7 year olds.
helpful (2) 
 No he did know because he didn't throw anyone else's card in the bin.
And no I don't think I was harsh at all. It's not hard to teach our kids to Be decent human beings

helpful (6) 
 I would have done the same. Kids like that are horrible.
helpful (5) 
 I think you’re being harsh too. Is it possible your son got it wrong, that maybe what he saw was him tossing the envelope in the bin and not the card? If your son and his friend have never had any problems, then it makes no sense at all that he would throw out your son’s card and no one else’s. My own son is also 7 and he has often misinterpreted the actions of others. So when he tells me one of his friends has done him wrong, I ask lots of questions to try and find out exact what happened, because he is only 7.... I cannot always take him at his word.
helpful (0) 
 He threw the card, the envelope and the candy cane in the bin.
helpful (4) 
 No one can keep every card they are ever given !
helpful (0) 
 Most people tend to take the cards home first. It was a shitty thing to do, I would discourage any friendship with a kid that would do something like that.
helpful (5) 
 Yes it was shitty and why would i
encourage that friendship?

helpful (2) 
 Probably more likely he tossed it out by accident.
helpful (0) 
 The kid sounds like a little turd. Just encourage stronger friendships with other nicer kids.
helpful (1) 

Iv distanced my good friend unfortunately . I love her but her daughter is a little shit and her discipline isn't working (in my opinion it's non existant that's why)
She's nasty to my kids sometimes and sweet as pie others but always snatching takes things off her is really kinoving and really really sneaky defiant. My daughter is a massive copy cat and loyal to a fault and she just tries to copy this girl so much. We only see her once a week now. And it's. Acontrolled place I can leave if she's being a little shit
I miss my friend but I just can't subject my kid to that anymore and I fear I couldn't keep my mouth shut much longer.
The shorter time together has meant my daughter has got more strength to stand up for herself though so there is good coming out of it.
And she knows that I don't care what the little girl does she's held tommy behaviour expectations and will be treated accordingly

 They are 4 and 5
helpful (1) 

yes, nip it in the bud now. I have some of my kids friends, that we don't have over any more as they trash our bikes, lego ect.
say No and mean it.

Yes, my daughter was friends with a girl that lives a few houses away. She was awful to my daughter and made sure my daughter couldn't make any other friends. My daughter made a new friend and I made it my mission to give them an opportunity to become good friends in the school holidays before the other girl chased her away. She seemed to always be watching our house, every time my daughter had her friend over she would turn up, I had to lie and say we were just about to go out. It was a millitary operation to get in the car quickly and go before the girl came over and asked if she could come too, my daughter found it too hard to say no. It worked my daughter learnt what it was like to have someone nice to spend time with.

Yeah one of my daughters friends started showing up at our house a lot she was an only child and a handful. Her parents were older and exhausted. They let her cycle around the neighbor hood knocking on doors until someone let her in to play. I felt sorry for her at first but I got sick of it. If I said no she would sit in the front yard or cycle up and down our driveway waving at my kids and gesturing them to come out. I drove her home once because she tried to stay overnight and when I said no I heard her tell my kids don't worry I'll come back later. I tried talking to the parents because I was getting worried. nothing changed.

 Just don't answer the door.
helpful (0) 
 Our living room is at the front all windows are open she hears the tv the toddler goes to the door and there is a glass panel
helpful (0) 
 That’s sad for the little girl she must be really lonely. I’m not saying you are not within your rights, but very sad situation.
helpful (1) 

We talk about whether someone's playing nicely or not. As in, what it looks like to play with kindness towards others, taking turns (& manipulative phrases) etc. We recognise that 'good' people don't always play nicely, and tell them that if someone isn't playing kindly then to find someone else to play with that day. It gets them to recognise poor behaviours and manipulative practices without labelling someone as 'bad'. If the person consistently doesn't play nicely, we suggest that they find someone else who is playing well.

My 10 year old has a friend who I really don’t like, she is manipulative and has a lot of anger problems, sometimes she is a downright bully. Her mother is on to it, her father enables it, the teachers correct it. I wish I pushed her away when she was 7, now they are best buds one day and my daughter is coming home crying the next. If this child is that bad I say start discouraging the friendship now, start encouraging friendships with other kids and if there is the option, request they aren’t in the same class next year.

I can't control who my kids are friends with, but I can control who they see outside of school. Any kids that are rude or trash the house don't get invited back.

Yes I have. Even emailed the school asking them to be separated next year. My 6yo daughter comes home saying "X called me a s**t, what's a s**t? " "X called me a wh**e, what's a wh**e? " and the list goes on. I feel sad for the child because if a 6yo knows what these words are I hate to know what goes on at home

I find this problem with girls, boys just play with whoever is on the sports field. My son comes home happy everyday and when I ask who did you play with he always has a different group with one or two the same. My daughter ended up in the most unpopular group with the loveliest, smartest girls who are all still friends today despite going to different high schools. They were called names and shunted but today they are all so tall and beautiful and still smart and straight As. You have to let them find their crowd, if they have a good heart and a kind heart they will find lovely friends.

 This is not true for my boy who has come home from school crying because some of the boys won’t play with him. Maybe it’s more that your boy is popular rather than a boy thing.
helpful (0) 

My 6 year old sometimes plays with a girl who is not very nice. They are in the same class next year, my daughter wants to have a birthday party and I don't know how to get away with not inviting her. I definitely plan to distance them.