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Leave him home with the kids, book yourself a massage and organise to have lunch with someone pleasant who won’t ruin your day. Tell him you’ll celebrate as a family in the evening- store bought mud cake and takeaway. If he objects, point out that his past behaviour on your birthday has made it very clear that he resents having to participate in anything nice that is meant for you and from now on, you’re making sure it won’t happen again.
My husband does the same thing. I hate any special day now
Yep, I don’t know what it is he ruined all my birthdays from my first one with him!!!
I just do my own thing now and expect nothing ,
I enjoy it with my beautiful kids and spend a night with girlfriends in a unit.
Haven’t had a bad birthday or disappointment since!
My hubby also does this!!!! He’s gotten better at Christmas now the kids are older but he’s just horrid on occasions.
He has bad anxiety and over the years iv realised this may be the cause
Because other than this he’s actually a nice husband lol, makes me tea every morning, gets me treats I like plays heaps with our kids
What the? Calling someone a wh**e is caused by HIS anxiety?! That’s terrible and an excusing someone for consistent verbal abuse....life does not have to be like this for you!!
How does he ruin your birthday? I’m so sorry for what you’re going through 😢
It’s sad people live with this thinking it’s normal. Being called an effing wh**e are you kidding me? You can totally get a better deal with someone else just saying....
My ex husband used to put a dampener on most occaisions, especially the kids birthdays. I'd be running around trying to get things done and also try to make it fun and pleasant for the guests but many times I'd be on the verge of tears because of his behaviour, either him lying on the couch up until the party or muttering about how he 'can't be bothered doing all this' (own child's birthday) or going and sitting down and getting guests to cook the bbq meat (I kid you not), because he 'hates doing it' (you had 1 job, mate), being rude to guests, having inappropriate manners, the list goes on. Sounds petty but very soul destroying after a few years.