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Experienced mums and first time mums

Before we begin: calm yourselves I'm not trying to pit anyone against anyone else.
I want to know, mums with more than one child: what do you wish you could say to a first time mum (the brutal honest truth)?
First time mums: what do YOU wish you could say to more experienced mums (the brutal honest truth)?

I'm a mum of 3 and expecting my fourth. Today I had a first time mum to be trying to lecture me about this that and everything else in pregnancy. Whilst I smiled and listened to what she had to say and allowed her to get it out, it really kinda pissed me off. I know she obviously meant well, but hey, I know how my body reacts to pregnancy, and I know this baby better than you do lady. I know that eating kale and carrots and 100% all organic everything is amazing, but having a big mac every now and again is fine too (she saw me eating and decided to butt in, like why are you even at maccas if you're so health conscious?!). I wish I had told her that instead.


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Answers (13)

First time mums- RELAX about things. Stop timing every sleep, inspecting every inch, stressing about every sneeze. The mums in my swimming class shit me to tears with their “he woke up after a one hour nap, he usually has one hour thirty minutes so I don’t know what’s wrong with him” obsessions!!!!!

First time mums- Your child is not the only one in existence and other peoples kids matter too, even those horrible school aged ones. The world does not need to revolve around your childs routine.

Experienced Mums- Stop acting all high and mighty like you know the answer to every little problem other mums have with their kids, what worked with your kids is not always going to work on someone elses kid.

To all mums.. its f#$king hard. Pat yourself on the back and dont forget yourself

To all mums- poo and spew stories don't need to be shared in great detail, or with photos. Yes, it happens to most parents, but if you have to mention it, err on the side of less information is better. Especially when we are out for a meal 😣

New mum's listen to the advice given by experienced mum's. They are the village you all talk about wanting. Experience mums only offer advice when it is needed.

Experienced mums.... do not give unsolicited advice including pregnancy and birth horror stories.

First time mums...... no mum is perfect, we all make mistakes. Be kind to yourself. Ignore anyone who judges you for the choices you make.

To first time mums trust your instincts. A childs parents know the child better than anyone else. Also don't stress too much about things like whether your child has a dummy, it wont matter in 5 years time. Do what works.

Advice to all mums. Do what works for you and yiur family. Every family, child and pregnancy is different and your experience will not compare to any one elses.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first thinking: mums with more kids than me, you need to stop telling me your horror stories about labour/pregnancy/birth. Like f**k off with that, it's not helpful and I didn't ask for your advice anyway. I need to make my own mistakes as a mum and learn from those. The same way you did.

To any and all Well Meaning Mums or Mums-to-Be I would like to state this often overlooked fact:

The amount of external stress you exhibit - or complete lack of it - has no relation whatsoever to the amount of love you have for your child. Don’t judge eachother. We all deal differently.

I would like to say to first time mums:
Chill the f**k out! You don’t need to act like your kid just ate a battery when really they just skinned their knee. Shit happen. Ride with the waves or in 10 years time you’re going to be a fu****g mess, rocking in the corner and crying into some shitty teddy that is already covered in your mascara.

First time mums and mums to be are hilariously naive, always.
I feel like I'm allowed to say that because I was too 😆

haha I had people pregnant with their first lecturing me about how I should labour when I was pregnant with my 3rd. Apparently they knew more about it than my Ob because they read something on an American facebook page.