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Terminating a pregnancy. Please don't judge.

We just found out that I'm pregnant again. About 5 weeks along. We already have 3 kids, and they're the joys of my world. I love my children. And I love my husband. But I can't handle another baby. My husband is furious about it too. He blames me (yes I know it takes two and such) and resents that we're already struggling financially. But he's against abortion and wouldn't support me getting one. It would be the end of our marriage. I love him and don't want that. Since I don't receive any centrelink or government assistance, every cent I get comes from him. He monitors everything I spend. Fair enough I guess, he earned it at work he should know where it's going. I can't afford a clinic visit, or the abortion pill (apparently they're $500ish). Is there anything I can do naturally and discreetly to prompt a miscarriage? I know this is a shit sandwich. I know I'm a horrible person. But I don't want to have another baby. I'm fairly sure I'll kill myself before then. Please help me.

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Answers (18)

It sucks that the pill costs that much, it isn't the pill itself that costs that much it's the bloody doctors cashing in on it. I had that and my doctor charges a set amount for terminations, literally a set of 2 appointments that are no longer than a normal appointment, the hardest thing was inserting the tablet and then I had to sit in the nurses room for half an hour and go home to wait it out.

It's your body, not your husbands. It's you that needs to be able to physically cope with a 4th child, not him. He is being unsupportive of you, accidents happen and he is being an unreasonable asshole. If you want the termination then go for it, just take the money and do it. If he leaves, then so be it. If he would leave you over this then it does not sound like a very good partner to have around in the first place. He can have his views but he should not expect you to live by them too.

Please DON'T attempt to terminate this pregnancy yourself.

 To be honest I agree with the higher cost as it makes people really consider it and no t just get them willy nilly. That being said they should offer some sort of loan or something for it.
helpful (3) 

I'm sorry but your husband sounds like a dick. Bit of financial abuse red flags popping up

 Its not financial abuse that he wants to know where his/their money is going? Anyone with half a brain will notice a large amount disappearing esp if money is tight. He obviously is against abortion- not the cost of the abortion, but the proceedure itself. His baby/family too remember. Yes it takes TWO to tango- if he must accept responsibility for his whoopsy maybe OP should too. Feminism crap 100% in this post.
helpful (4) 
 It is when she gets. 00 money stje is in control of
helpful (1) 
 Not his. Not his/theirs. Just THEIRS
helpful (3) 
 Op wrote that every cent she gets is from him so he does give her money. If they are struggling he probably wants to know where its going. Its probably smart budgeting more than financial abuse. If $300 disappeared from our earnings if be asking where it goes.
helpful (3) 

Take yourself into centerlink explain your situation and talk to them

Do you guys have a credit card???
Do you always use cash ??
Can you not et the abortion and use a card and deal with the repercussions later

Sounds like a good relationship to get out of by the little you've said to be honest .

 Maybe he doesn’t want partner to do s
helpful (0) 

I had one when in an abusive relationship and my GP got me in for free, I don’t know what she said or did but I was booked in within a week and didn’t pay a cent. Go to your GP and explain, they might be able to help xxx

 Pretty sure Drs can choose to bulk bill certain procedures if they feel its required
helpful (0) 

see your doctor, and social worker asap, for govt funding.
sending hugs, no judgement

I don't think abortion is the answer. You'll never regret a child that you have but you could regret an abortion for the rest of your life.
If you've already got 3 kids you'll make room in your heart to love one more

 She needs money not love to raise a baby
helpful (3) 
 This is such a great comment, I’ve always thought this; for the rest of your life you may live in regret of terminating a pregnancy, but you will never regret giving birth to that child.
Wise words

helpful (3) 
 I know people that have regretted having children and not just saying that on a bad day but really wished they didnt have kids. Without know how someone feels you cant say they wont regret having the baby
helpful (2) 

Thank you ladies for your help and understanding. After a talk with my doctor and a lot of soul searching, I've decided to go ahead with the pregnancy come what may. Surprisingly, my husband now seems to like the idea. What a mind f**k.
So whilst I'm going to keep the baby, I'm still bracing myself for the end of my marriage. That way, if mr moody butthole decides to go, well it'll be less of a shock. And also, because I'm getting a little over doing everything he wants. But that's another issue.
I truly appreciate the help and support you've offered here. It's been some of the nicest things said to me this last week or so. Obviously for privacy reasons I didn't identify as OP (my husband knows I frequent this website). Thank you again, OP.

 So glad to hear this. Yes and pls look after yourself.. hopefully it will not be the end of your marriage but I hope all goes well and you can find a way to sick together and make things work for your kids and yourselves; especially you
helpful (1) 
 That's so good to hear. Iv been thinking about you. I'v also must found out I'm pregnant with a 4th. Unplanned. Dont know how I'm going to manage but i believe everything will work out in the end... and if it doesn't, its not the end. Good luck with everything OP, it'll work out xx
helpful (2) 
 Wishing you love and strength, you sound like an incredibly strong person already but you’ve got this, whatever happens with your husband, you’ve got this xxx
helpful (1) 

How are you going OP?

 I will keep the baby
helpful (5) 
 Yay!
helpful (2) 

I honestly get you.. we also have kids.. but I’m not doing great mentally.. I’m ok- but if I was to fall pregnant I would consider the same... and yes my husband would ‘’not allow’ or entertain the idea of an abortion. I’d just hope tht if we found ourselves in that position he’d be supportive but stressful situations can bring the worst out of us at the best of times!!
I don’t agree with some of the posters saying your husband is abusive or you should leave him...
I believe in fate, life throws shit at you; but I believe it’s in your ‘life plan’ (which is why some ppl can’t conceive cos it’s cleaely not to be for them)
and you will find a way to deal with this and it will make you stronger.
All the best to you

If you call an abortion clinic and explain maybe they can give you advice on a free service.

So sorry you're in the position, your husband sounds absolutely horrible. Go and speak to a gp xx

I hear that a really hot bath can bring on a miscarriage. Sorry about your situation. Your husband is a terrible person to treat your this way.

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/pregnancy-unplanned

Please see your gp and explain the situation. Also Ring a pregnancy hotline in your state