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Kids who want to sleepover then want to go home

My niece wanted to sleep over tonight with my daughter. We took them to a play centre, played in backyard, went to the park and bought dinner that she wanted. Everything was fine until around bed time came. I told my daughter and niece it was time for bed and to turn off iPads and try to get some sleep. 10 minutes later niece is crying for her mum (at 10.30pm!) so had to get hold of her and she ended up going home. What’s with kids doing this?? She’s 8 mind you and has no issue staying at her grandparents etc. I’m actually quite annoyed. What’s with kids doing this??

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Answers (14)

I teach my kids they are always allowed to leave a situation when they don’t feel comfortable... it’s a life lesson.

 Awesome- good job mate, they need to feel safe always and it follows thru life. I wish everyone was like you.
helpful (2) 
 Oh please
You are teaching your kids to get their own way

helpful (1) 
 No. No I am not. Think about it 💕
helpful (1) 

My daughter is 11 and still won’t sleep at my sisters house or my sister in laws house even tho she loves them and loves her cousins. She likes to be kissed goodnight by her mum and dad every night and wake up in her own house. Don’t be upset by it, there’s nothing wrong with you, some kids just don’t like sleepovers.

 You have mollycoddled her
helpful (0) 
 No I havnt.
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I had really bad home sickness as a child. It wasn’t until bed time when I had a moment to think about how much I missed my mum or dad after all the fun that we had that day. It was horrible to go through, I wanted nothing more than to have that sleep over but when it came to it I couldn’t do it. Don’t take it as a personal attack, your niece isn’t ready for it and you being negative about it isn’t going to get her ready. Just let her guide what she wants.

 I just don’t get it though, she stays over at her other aunties house and grandparents for up to 2 weeks sometimes.
helpful (0) 
 So maybe it’s you.
helpful (3) 
 It's annoying sure, but it's homesickness. Just send them home and don't pick another sleepover too soon. I've had kids who slept over constant get homesick one time randomly, or I've had to pick my child up but they've slept their 1348times. Happens
helpful (1) 
 Yeah maybe it is me, because I actually have rules in my house
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Sleepovers can be scary for young kids, don't tske it personally. In fact, take it as a compliment she felt comfortable enough to tell you! I remember sleepless stressful and anxious nights even at family members houses because I waa too afraid to say I was feeling home sick 😔

It is annoying and I don't give them a second chance! One kid got upset late one night and I had to put all 4 of my kids plus this other child to take her home because the Mum had just had a baby and couldn't drive. I get that they should come home when they want but they should also learn to follow through with what they say they are going to do.

 I see your point, it's inconvenient. But I've had my teenage daughter want to come home cos she's homesick before. Sometimes you want to feel safe with people who make you safe. If it happens to you that often maybe you don't make children feel safe
helpful (1) 
 I didn't say how often it has happened but over 15 years worth of sleepovers most kids have been perfectly fine! Some kids are wrapped in cotton wool and are taught from a young age that the world will revolve around them! I have always been a bit tougher with my kids if they spend an hour begging me to sleep over someones house there is no way I'm driving across town to pick them up at midnight!
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My kids are not allowed sleepovers at all so I don’t see any propblems at all with kids not wanting to sleep away from their own mum and dad.

 Why is that, that they are not allowed sleep overs?
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 I prefer sleepovers at mine so I know where my kids are
helpful (1) 

You're pissed off at an 8 year old who wanted to go home? She obviously felt uncomfortable for some reason. Poor darling.

 Where did I say I was pissed off at her? I was annoyed as she was carrying on about an iPad being taken away at bedtime and throwing a tantrum like my 4 yo would.
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Too many kids are snowflakes

 You didn't get homesick as a kid? Dude I still get it as an adult, sometimes I just really want my dad! It's the same feeling as when I had it once as a kid. Except I'm an adult now
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My daughter would do that.
She loves the idea of sleepovers and wants so badly to do it but always chickens out, she herself had just realised she’s not ready and learnt to be ok with that, she just loves her own bed, even longer holidays can be hard with us after 10/12 days she starts asking for home.

She has slept over my parents but they’ve also had to go through a small panic attack she had and Mum came close to calling me at 2am once.

She has asked for sleepovers with her cousins before but never said yes cos I knew how it would end and then she would be embarrassed.

She even gets stressed going to bed with her dad.
Iv never spent longer than 15/20 hours from her because of this.
But if theres anyone who she will sleep over with it’s my mum and dad

 Your daughter is weakling
helpful (0) 
 😂 yep she is a sensitive little thing with this things, we’ve been working on it.
She’d kick your kids arse in almost every other way though. It’s only fair to other kids she’s has a weak spot lol troll

helpful (0) 
 Weakling? Dumbass
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 Calling someone's daughter a weakling? You got issues. I hope you don't have kids or god knows how much damage you'd do.
helpful (1) 
 It's normal, lots of kids would do that. The real ones that don't expect in your imagination that is.
helpful (1) 

Haven’t read the other replies.

But I would say she may have been over tired at that time and just needed the comfort and if her own bed. Had you tried putting them to bed earlier she may have coped.

 Ha! Yes I actually tried putting her to bed much earlier but she insisted on iPad. Apparently mum lets her fall asleep watching television every night I’ve been informed!
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It could be something as simple as the kid wanting a light left on but was too embarrassed to ask. I remember my sister never wanting to go to her friends house for more than a couple of hours because the door knobs were up really high. She was too embarrassed to ask an adult to open the toilet door for her and she nearly wet herself so hated going there.

 Yeah I figured that which is why I always leave a light on in the kitchen, and there was a nightlight in daughters room as well as a lamp switched on
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I’m sure she wasn’t just doing it to be a brat. She probably didn’t feel comfortable and just wanted to go home (not saying that you made her uncomfortable) . Some people just don’t like sleeping over at peoples places. She doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to and I’m sure her mum didn’t mind having to come and get her. She was obviously upset.

OP Yeah I get that, but I’ve done nothing but make her feel comfortable all day. I’m her aunt for crying out loud. Everything was dandy until I asked her to put away the iPad and get some sleep. She perked up as soon as she knew her mother was driving all the way to pick her up. My daughter was terribly upset however
helpful (0) 
 Ooooohhh this has nothing to do with you asking her to put the iPad away, this is called home sickness and if you haven’t had it you won’t understand it. I had it bad as a child (and yes probably still at 8) I grew out of it by high school but there is something about it that you can’t explain. The feeling of missing your parents and always at sleep time. It’s pretty traumatic for the child so try not to be annoyed at her. She would have perked up knowing her mum was coming to get her. And it’s not about how comfortable you made her during the day (that helps her to feel like a special part of the day which is great) it’s that awful anxiety of not having mum at sleep time. The best thing you can do is keep trying and keep making her feel safe, extra hugs and love if she is back for another try.
helpful (1) 
OP Thanks for that response, never really looked at it that way as I never had home sickness as a child
helpful (1) 
 Consider yourself lucky 😏
My children are anxious so I’m sure they’ll be plagued with the same thing, but I guess I know how to deal with it to a point.
There isn’t all that much you can do, and it always occurs at bed time. But if I were you, keep trying and like I said keep reassuring her through the day, evening, etc that you are a safe place and will be there for her. It may take her a couple of years and heaps of the same thing that you experienced tonight to reoccur before she calms down. Either way I hope it works out for you all x

helpful (0) 
 My son gets severe home sickness as well.
It really is an awful thing to see your child go through. They want that sleep over more than anything... but come bed time and it’s all over. For my son I think it is about having his routine and own bed. I also think he doesn’t like waking up somewhere different, he can’t sleep in a different bed and will lay awake all night and not be able to sleep. He has never stayed a full night at a sleepover. He won’t even stay at his grandparents place who he adores very much. Last time he had to stay there he was most distraught and couldn’t enjoy himself as he was always thinking about when he could come home.

helpful (1) 
 She has mummy around her little finger
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I hate that
I was a respite carer and the little shit wanted to go home at 2.30 in morning
I said no and gave her water with phenegran

 Really?? That is terrible if it’s true! You drugged a child to get them to sleep
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 BS
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 Respite carer? So you work with already traumatised children to traumatize them more? Idiot
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 I really hope it is BS
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She’s a little spoilt shit

 So spoilt. Gets home sick and wants her mother. Yep.
I feel sorry for your children.

helpful (3) 
  She probably doesn't have children - no man would want to breed with someone so nasty surely.
helpful (1)