Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Moving past hurt

How do you get into a better frame of mind after being very hurt by someone. We have tried to help a family member who has basically thrown it all back in our faces and said awful things about me in particular. I'm so frustrated that I don't get to say my side and I know I need to move past it, but I can't just flick a switch and be over it. I can't hang onto it, I know, but I'm so upset.


Got an Answer?

Answers (5)

Nothing cures hurt feelings but distance and time. Create some space between you and them. They dont want help, so all you can do is stand back and let them fail. It's hardest when it's family, but the only way people like that to gain humility and gratitude is to see what happens when they are left to their own devices. Rock bottom is the cruelest teacher, but you learn more there than from the top.

Know that that person is in a lot of pain, and in someway they might have been most embarrassed/ care most about your involvement that they attacked you. But ultimately people in pain say and do shocking things, rationalise that and keep reminding yourself of that logic

 Yep agree with this. My ex in laws say some shocking untrue things about me but it comes from the pain & embarrassment of how their son acted. It sucks balls that I can't defend myself but I've come to realise that the people who are really important know the truth.
helpful (0) 

Distance and time is true. Sometimes you both get over it and can be friends again. Or like me you may never talk to her again...both of us have never made effort to speak again after 8 years. It is my sister.

stay away all together from that person, even if it is family.

I had to ban my MIL from our house over stuff she accused me of doing, and one of our nieces, who made up stories. Put up the boundaries, and don't waver or take them down.