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Really, really struggling!

Everything is going so horribly wrong. It feels like im having several stomach turning moments every day. The bmbs just keep dropping. We have had so many major unexpected expenses to do with house and car - the kind of stuff thats usually spread out over 10 years seems to have happened in a matter of weeksd. We need about $10k! Nothing can be put off its all immediate and urgent. Ive never been in a situation like this and im stressing that it will never end. Im stressed, snapping at the kids. Im working so much to try and get money, everything is falling apart at home. Now even little things that go wrong feel like a HUGE deal. I know Im on the verge of breaking but I know I cant because everything will just get even worse. I have an emotional anniversary coming up as well as a holiday we booked ages ago that we now cant afford but have paid for flights and accomodation etc already so we cant cancel or we loose that money. I just dont know what to do. Im freaking out BIG time. 😭


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Answers (16)

Hey Op,
Why don't you contact someone through Airtasker app. for fixing things. You will find some locals in a very cheap rate.
Don't worry. Everything will be fine. Few years ago we lost $10k on a fraud. My husband was worrying immensly over it as we just came from a oversees Holiday and had nothing only next pay. Then my dad gave me call and say help with husband to get over it as" The most damaging thing you do to yourself is worrying about what you have lost. Instead that Do what you have to do on this current moment and let pass the what happened before. " That is when I got to know that months ago my dad had lost $250K over buisness deal and he started everything from very beginnig while nothing on the hands. Most important thing he has done was he didn't worry and focus on what he has to do. I over came the worries and focus, since immediately that phone call. I am following that thought /method since last 7 years and it helped me to stay strong every time when I am at the edge either financially or emotionally.

OP Thank you for sharing. More woderful perspective and advice! You ladies are amazing!!
helpful (0) 

OP sometime things get overwhelming! Can you get a personal loan for the 10k? And then get one of those companies that stream lines your bills into one payment per month. Just to give you breathing room.

Hey, same situation here. It's been a big shit show lately financially. I remember having a really bad, baaaad year in 2010. Like I was literally preparing to throw myself under a road train at one point that year. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong (health, money,relationships, money, career, money, and money). But somehow we made it through till 2011 and things got better. I look back on it as a cursed year. But also, the year I became a proper adult and grew up a lot. 2018 is feeling a lot like 2010, and I'm not loving it. I'm really hoping that it's not the entire year this time. I'm just trying to take it day by day and see if I can make it through till tomorrow. My MIL (a wonderful, and amazing woman) says we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and plod along. Just keep going.
I can't promise that things will get easier for you any time soon. But I can promise that you are not alone. If we can just make it through till tomorrow, there's hope for reprieve. Maybe tomorrow's the day you win lotto. Or get offered a promotion and a company car. Or find $20K in a duffel bag and somehow get to keep it legally. We'll see. Just get through today, tomorrow is a job for tomorrow.

OP I love this - not all the crap you have had to deal with but your last couple of sentences. Thank you. Its currently 2:30am and ive been laying awake in bed stressing and feelung sick for 1.5 hours now. Its so hard somerimes to just keep plodding along. I know i dont have a choice but i really wish i wasnt such a stress head as i know its just making everything worse. I hjope 2018 gets better for both of us xxx
helpful (2) 

I really like the responses you have received on this post :)
Another thing you can look into for the abandoned house is placing a caveat. That in it's self is approx 3k but once the owner is located they can not sell until the caveat and fee's for fence are paid. Have a look on landgates website in regards to caveat. I believe it also means if the property is seized by the government or council they will then be responisible for removal of caveat - you will have to clarify that as laws are always changing.
With your own personal bills (and possibly child's braces) ask for a payment plan. Synergy will definetly be able to help you out - i work at the post office and there are atleast 50% of people on payment plans or who do their own form of plan by paying $10-$20 per week/fortnight to their bills. All utilities do not charge for payments no matter the frequency, however other optionals such as internet/phone companies do charge a processing fee per payment you make. Also take benefit from any pension or FTB you may receive. If you have a pension card use it on your utilities, rates, car rego's and even drivers licence.
Also a last resort option would be to possibly look into pulling funds from yours or hubbys super to pay for the expenses - another common occurancy at the post office these days.
As for the holiday - take it, even though you can't afford it - you've already paid for more than half of it and it sounds like you need a bit of space to clear your head (and breathe and sleep) and take time to evaluate the order of priorities. Hope all works well for you :) and depending on what shire you are with in Perth you can also arrange different rate payment plans to help ease that burden as well for your investment property or even your own residence. Also some shire's have special volunteer/low cost handy man work for those trying to regain control of their own lives and so by employing those people it will help you to help them in trying to integrate back into society :)

For your fence and trees, ask for a cash job? So much cheaper or pick a cheaper fence design- or dont even worry about a fence at thr moment. If the next door house is abandoned then theres no rush

OP My husband is going to go look at the fence and see uf he can repair and stabalise temporarily - until the neighbour can be located. Our tenant has a dog and the neighbour has a pool (swamp) so we need to secure the yard.
helpful (1) 
 Are you in the Perth metro area? Try ringing the department of health for advice about the pool/swamp as it's high risk for Ross River fever and they might be able to investigate and get the council moving

helpful (1) 
OP Oooo good idea! Ive heard today that the shire has been trying to find the owner for years. They have been prosecuted and a memorandum put on the title. The shire advise there is nothing further they can do until the owner is located. Surely someone has to do something if the owner cant be found - that in itself is really bizzar. No record of her death, not listed as a missing person, no neighbours know anything, no info on landgate other than her name as the owner. The shire cant even actually take her to court coz she cant be located to serve papers. Surely at some point the property can be seized, sold, debts paid and anything left put in trust?
helpful (1) 
 If you have her name, do a web search. I use to work in skip tracing before we moved to Australia. There is almost always a way to find someone online, there are websites specifically for that purpose. You might have to pay to find the info but it might be worth it, it usually it isn’t that much. You can then take the info to your council or a solicitor if you go that route.
helpful (2) 

Hugs, we all have times where everything comes up at once. Find out how much it will cost to patch the fence, and put up posts to stop it falling, it might get you another year. Find a solicitor (first appt free) to discuss what you can do about getting the owner to pay for their side of the fence as legally they have to pay half if it's falling down. You may be able to sue the council for allowing the house to stay abandoned, the council will locate the owner and sue them.
You don't have to do anything about the trees, if they fall insurance will fix it, if the neighbour wants the trees removed they can pay for it, honestly just don't worry about the trees at the moment. Write a list of all the things you have to do and put then in order of priority, just do them as you can. Please don't spend money you don't have on getting the trees removed.

OP Thank you! Im a little surprised how supportive and helpful everyone is being. I know people often cop a roasting on here or cop the troll comments.
helpful (1) 

Thank you to everyone fgor your amazing responses. A lot of the things you have said and information you have provided has been really helpful and supportive - except the 'living above our means' comment. We have always been very careful not to do this. We have money to cover issues but when you are hit with this many major issues all at once cashflow is an issue. If we knew who the owners were next door we could pay our $500 excess and get a whole brand new fence but having to pay the neighbours share is throwingvmoney away and its infurating!

 How are you feeling now? Did you manage to get some sleep?
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OP Am feeling bettee thanks to all you lovely people. I think it was about 4:30am when i finally drifted off then had a nightmare about buying another money pit! Things always seem worse at night. Ive started feeling constantly worried about whats next though and how a bad situation could get worse. I dread unknown ph numbers and emails from the real estate - makes me sick to my stomach
helpful (2) 

Any expenses, and any losses you make on the sale of the rental house, as its an investment property, will be offset against any gains on other investments you make later, as far as tax goes. And there is no time limit. So consider this a setback for now, but not forever.
Look at the cheap options for fixes on cracks and trees offered by another respondent.
Get rental house insurance, I found Terri Scheer really good when I rented out my property, and I think its a necessity. Covers you for unpaid rent, and damage.
If the water bill is the tenants responsibility why do you have to pay it ?
MILs advice sounds brilliant, you are lucky you have one like her.
Everyone goes through these patches in their life, you just have to stay sane through them.
And the toughest times are always when you go through the early stages of the big steps that power you forward.

OP Wow, thank you so much too. I didnt know that tax stuff. We have landlord insurance ' si far the tenant herself hasnt been an issue really. She pays her rent and is making the house her home which we are happy fgor her to do. The water account always stays in the owners name unlike power. The real estate gets it and invoices the tenant. Thry pay the account at EOM from funds received from the tenant. Previously the bills have been much smaller and the tenant has paid before EOM so it hasnt affected us but shes on a payment plan for this one. So we have copped the cost until she pays. Very unfair i think, we are basically giving an interest free loan without any choice. Love your last few sentences! I feel like we just have to get through this 1st year and just hope things settle down. Right now id be stoked to find the owner of the abandined house....
helpful (1) 

No offence, but I have never understood why people purchase investment properties if they don't have the means for the upkeep as required. I would want at least $10-$15 grand in the bank as a safety net. What are you going to do if the hot water cylinder reaches the end of it's life and needs replacing? The tenant cannot be without hot water for a long period of time. What if a pipe busts? What if the roof starts leaking and is worn out from age, then you find out you need a whole new roof? Is there a heat pump/air con installed? What if that breaks down? You're worried about a fence, that's minor compared to what could go wrong!

 ^this! $1000+ for a hot water cylinder. $10000 for a new roof. The list could go on and on
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If you can't sleep at night because of money stress, I would be offloading the investment property. Even if it's at a loss. Then you will have one less burden

Ring the council to find out the owner of the vacant block and make them pay half the gence

OP The council cant locate the owner either apparently. Its not just a vacant block, its a house with a pool! The only thing we know is their name.
helpful (0) 
 I think you should talk to a solicitor about the councils negligence. If the property is run down and a health hazard to the public, and abandoned, they should have taken steps to address the issue. With or without the owners details. How can they not know who's paid the rates? And if the rates haven't been paid, why hasn't the property been acquired and sold to recoup the costs owed to the local council? It sounds very very dodgy to me and I'd be looking into legal action. The councils negligence to uphold public safety and community security (abandoned houses can become delapidated or attract squatters) should be held accountable. Why can this owner get away with such nonsense, when if any normal person fails to pay their rates on time they get threatened with legal repercussions? God, this just riles me up I tell ya what!
helpful (1) 
 Sorry I work in the area and its a load of BS the council cant locate the owner. Council rates are a lot, you can bet your bottom dollar they do know.
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With the water bill, can you charge more for rent going forward to build up a buffer in case that happens again.
If that's a big water bill for the average in your part of Australia, and there is no obvious reason, it might be worth getting a plumber to check if all the washers in taps are OK, (leaking taps can run through a lot of water), and to check if there is a leak somewhere.
Or is she generously watering the garden, or doing stacks of loads of washing ?

OP No idea how shes used so much. No reports of leaks/drips. She declined having it investigated as if no fault found she woukd have to pay. She took a photo of meter before bed then 1st thing in the morning and reported that it hadnt changed..... but me being me is of course stressing that its something huge and expensive because it aslways seems to be with this house.....
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I feel like Im failing everyone in every way. I feel like something that was supposed to set us up for a future has turned into a nightmare and will now cost us dearly and set us back years. I just feel like EVERYRHING is [email protected]#!ed! I usually jave a safety net, somewhere to turn or it all somehow wors out but its just not the case now. Things are really really bad and i have no idea what to do. Even things that shouldnt be such a stress have extra complications that are almost unheard of. Someone please tell me something positive or how to calm down a bit!

 If you’re super stressed go to your gp and get some anti depressants or see a psychologist to help get some perspevtive
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Get a loan like everyone else and reevaluate if you really need to keep up with the Jones's and live above your means.